The internet is full of blogs - and a simple search will show you thousands of blogs about Tarot as well.
And they are wonderful things. People's readings, musings, great lessons and concepts. Some readers use their blog to communicate with their clients and future clients, some people blog just to journal.... some people write to be read by others, and some people write to just get the words out.
And this blog for me is about that - getting my tarot words out. If someone else reads them and it inspires them to do the same I will be truly honoured, although I will think they are bonkers at the same time.
So, what brought me to this point?
My Tarot Journey, has been one I have walked for years, years and years. actually about 20 years. As a child I marveled at the occult images of my mothers decks, as a teenager I spent hours and hours reading books, writing meanings and, with the dawn of the Internet I spent even more hours and hours in searching, reading and contributing to tarot forums and tarot groups. I was a living embodiment of the Hermit, learning and growing. With my deck and tarot journal in my bag at school I felt I was a great seeker on an amazing quest - I felt so inspired, so empowered, so immersed in Tarot I could never imagine how life could NOT involve tarot.
As I got older, the honeymoon period ended. The books kept saying the same thing.... the tarot forums kept having the same questions and the same types of people who flood the forums with their heart-felt questions that I couldnt empathise with any more. I got deeper into tarot as part of a magical tool, of the kabbalah and western magical traditions. At one point I even stood up (ok, more forced to stand up) and offer teaching and guidance to new people on their tarot path - and got shot down and humiliated in the process by others who questioned my ability to do so.
And since my early 20s I guess I have been floating in this world where Tarot is important to me and who I am, yet I don't DO tarot. I rarely draw a daily card, I hardly ever read for someone, and yet if people ask me what hobbies and interests I have I say 'Oh I read tarot cards and into spooky stuff like that' (if I can be brave enough to tell people and not fear their responses to such a thing).
Somewhere in my life I went from tarot bright-spark to a broken bulb - and I'm fed up of it! So this blog is a way of me to write down my thoughts, and my processes... and perhaps maybe one day a place for others to realise we can be Struggling Tarotists too, with the only dedication that in doing a bit of tarot every day we can change that, spend time doing the thing we love without criticism or regret and let Tarot transform us by its mystical alchemical process.
Monday, 28 October 2013
Facing the Commitmentophobe head on - Whats the Good and the Bad of committing to Time Time Every Day??
So, after explaining my tarot commitment phobia above, I thought it was time to really look at would doing an Every Day practice of just touching and working with the cards. And I thought, why not use a 'Commitment' spread to help me in this decision, and hopefully this reading will keep me on track when I feel like I'm wavering.
And, for the sake of transparency I have used the spread that Alyna uses on her blog, so Click here to see it
The Left hand column If I commit the outcome is...
Short Term - The Moon
The feeling of touching and working with the subconscious, the hint of magic and the realms of the psychic and divination. There is a feeling of tapping into something which has been lost, like a forgotten dream.
I used to work with the tarot every day, I used to be able to just think of the images, dream the energies and not a day went by when I didnt do a reading for myself or someone else. This Moon speaks to me of that connection again, and a shift into something deeper.
The Subconscious is coming out, the Darker self steps forward and it definitely has in the way in which this whole idea and exercise has made me question my attitude and belief around commitment and making an effort to be disciplined in my study and practice of tarot. Whilst the Dark Self stuff is going to be productive, I can see another aspect of the Moon is that this wave of energy and enthusiasm may just ebb and flow and when the tide is out and I forget/get tired/cant be bothered/not inspired, how do I try to keep myself going and progressing and not just sink into oblivion again??
Long Term - Ace of Swords
Here there is a sense of great insight and a new perspective. Whilst the Moon suggests some great short term benefits of all the watery/intuitive/subconscious treasures, the Sword suggests a new outook, a new perspective.
Perhaps, I have been very much stuck in an old mode of thinking about Tarot? Maybe there are lots of new things I can learn and study which I haven't been able to before? There is a real sense of shift here that makes me intrigued!
The 'If I commit' argument seems to be a good and positive one - one that offers rewards on both the Right and Left brain, one that signals changes internally for my betterment. So far, so good!
The Right hand column If I don't commit the outcome is..
Short Term - 9 of Wands
Well, there is a feeling of defensiveness here. The 9 of Wands shows the wounded warrior behind the fence... and perhaps I am a wounded tarot reader. If I have all these ideas and I can see the possible great benefits (above) Tarot can give me, and I know tarot has given me in the past, and I don't commit I am literally hiding behind the fence and cutting my nose off to spite my face.
Perhaps because the Tarot has already given me a real wound to look at 'Miss Commitment-phobic' and that can feel too much, too heavy and so its easy to just bury it, hide it, say I am too busy and too tired to get involved in anything indepth.
Whilst I will feel better and relieved for a short time, will it actually improve anything in the long run? Is hiding from what you want ever a good plan?
Long Term - The Emperor
Now this is an interesting card here. A figure of great power, authority, control.... and if I don't commit to the Tarot this is the long term goal?
I feel here this is about a complacent warrior, in that when you have kingship you at first want to change the world and change the system (one hopes!) to improve and share and the betterment of everyone. And over time as the rot sets in, routines happen and then complacency hits then you seem to rest on your laurels and do nothing. Although you feel powerful in doing nothing, you are hiding the fact you are powerless to make any change.
I feel this is how when I have spoken to a lot of people about Tarot and committing to it to learn and develop as a reader and as a spiritual being - I get some very odd looks! But Tarot is my hobby, its fun, its spiritual, its expressive, why on earth should I commit to that?! Surely its better to just let it flow, to go with when the mood strikes you to do something?
But how can a warrior be the best they can be if they do not train every day? How can a king rule if he does not exercise that power to rule every day? How can I be a great tarot reader and learn from the tarot if I do not commit to using it and learning about it everyday?
Central Card, the Advice - Ace of Wands
When I look at this card I just get a strong sense of GO FOR IT! How can working with the tarot everyday be a bad thing? How can going with your intuition and motivation be a bad thing?
Also, thinking of the Wands as great power and energy, they break through boundaries, they burn through the deadwood to reveal the fertile soil and I feel this is the case here.
If I work with the cards every day, in what ever small way, I am breaking through my old negative habits, I am giving myself confidence and self-esteem rather than making myself feel guilty for the things I 'used to be good at but not longer do, I am my own worst enemy' behaviour.
How can I incorperate this Advice? Princess of Wands - Princess of Pentacles.
Two every interesting Princesses to appear.
The Princess of Wands speaks of being brave, of putting my energies into physical processes. Don't just think, but DO the Tarot.
She speaks to me about being a bit brave and putting myself 'out there', to let it be an open part of my personality and let it shine, rather than Tarot being something to hide and keep secret. The depths people may not need to know, but to be confident in myself and who I am is never a bad idea.
She also is a great card to give me the confidence to go into the Dark sometimes and see what lurks within, and what the Tarot can help me through also.
The Princess of Pentacles echos this practical nature. Read the cards, touch them, look at them, feel them, let them be part of my physical reality rather than just concepts in my head.
And conversely this Princess is also being very practical and saying - be kind to yourself.
So what if you miss a day? So what if you aren't meditating on the cards? So what if you are not Crowley Incarnate trying to re-invent the Tarot Wheel? Why pressurise myself to be something for my ego rather than something for my Spirit? Why not just accept the times you fall off the wagon and let the lessons learnt from that inspire you to get back on the wagon.
Also this Princess speaks of something even more practical - to make tarot part of my every day practice, I need to have them with me every day - which includes having a big enough hand bag to actually include a tarot deck in so I have a deck with me at all times and so in that I can find 5 mins to just pick up the deck and look at the images.
So overall - Commiting to Every Day Tarot Time is only a good thing, with lots of benefits! And it takes the smallest practical steps to do it, a brave heart and a deck in your hand. Simples!
And, for the sake of transparency I have used the spread that Alyna uses on her blog, so Click here to see it
The Left hand column If I commit the outcome is...
Short Term - The Moon
The feeling of touching and working with the subconscious, the hint of magic and the realms of the psychic and divination. There is a feeling of tapping into something which has been lost, like a forgotten dream.
I used to work with the tarot every day, I used to be able to just think of the images, dream the energies and not a day went by when I didnt do a reading for myself or someone else. This Moon speaks to me of that connection again, and a shift into something deeper.
The Subconscious is coming out, the Darker self steps forward and it definitely has in the way in which this whole idea and exercise has made me question my attitude and belief around commitment and making an effort to be disciplined in my study and practice of tarot. Whilst the Dark Self stuff is going to be productive, I can see another aspect of the Moon is that this wave of energy and enthusiasm may just ebb and flow and when the tide is out and I forget/get tired/cant be bothered/not inspired, how do I try to keep myself going and progressing and not just sink into oblivion again??
Long Term - Ace of Swords
Here there is a sense of great insight and a new perspective. Whilst the Moon suggests some great short term benefits of all the watery/intuitive/subconscious treasures, the Sword suggests a new outook, a new perspective.
Perhaps, I have been very much stuck in an old mode of thinking about Tarot? Maybe there are lots of new things I can learn and study which I haven't been able to before? There is a real sense of shift here that makes me intrigued!
The 'If I commit' argument seems to be a good and positive one - one that offers rewards on both the Right and Left brain, one that signals changes internally for my betterment. So far, so good!
The Right hand column If I don't commit the outcome is..
Short Term - 9 of Wands
Well, there is a feeling of defensiveness here. The 9 of Wands shows the wounded warrior behind the fence... and perhaps I am a wounded tarot reader. If I have all these ideas and I can see the possible great benefits (above) Tarot can give me, and I know tarot has given me in the past, and I don't commit I am literally hiding behind the fence and cutting my nose off to spite my face.
Perhaps because the Tarot has already given me a real wound to look at 'Miss Commitment-phobic' and that can feel too much, too heavy and so its easy to just bury it, hide it, say I am too busy and too tired to get involved in anything indepth.
Whilst I will feel better and relieved for a short time, will it actually improve anything in the long run? Is hiding from what you want ever a good plan?
Long Term - The Emperor
Now this is an interesting card here. A figure of great power, authority, control.... and if I don't commit to the Tarot this is the long term goal?
I feel here this is about a complacent warrior, in that when you have kingship you at first want to change the world and change the system (one hopes!) to improve and share and the betterment of everyone. And over time as the rot sets in, routines happen and then complacency hits then you seem to rest on your laurels and do nothing. Although you feel powerful in doing nothing, you are hiding the fact you are powerless to make any change.
I feel this is how when I have spoken to a lot of people about Tarot and committing to it to learn and develop as a reader and as a spiritual being - I get some very odd looks! But Tarot is my hobby, its fun, its spiritual, its expressive, why on earth should I commit to that?! Surely its better to just let it flow, to go with when the mood strikes you to do something?
But how can a warrior be the best they can be if they do not train every day? How can a king rule if he does not exercise that power to rule every day? How can I be a great tarot reader and learn from the tarot if I do not commit to using it and learning about it everyday?
Central Card, the Advice - Ace of Wands
When I look at this card I just get a strong sense of GO FOR IT! How can working with the tarot everyday be a bad thing? How can going with your intuition and motivation be a bad thing?
Also, thinking of the Wands as great power and energy, they break through boundaries, they burn through the deadwood to reveal the fertile soil and I feel this is the case here.
If I work with the cards every day, in what ever small way, I am breaking through my old negative habits, I am giving myself confidence and self-esteem rather than making myself feel guilty for the things I 'used to be good at but not longer do, I am my own worst enemy' behaviour.
How can I incorperate this Advice? Princess of Wands - Princess of Pentacles.
Two every interesting Princesses to appear.
The Princess of Wands speaks of being brave, of putting my energies into physical processes. Don't just think, but DO the Tarot.
She speaks to me about being a bit brave and putting myself 'out there', to let it be an open part of my personality and let it shine, rather than Tarot being something to hide and keep secret. The depths people may not need to know, but to be confident in myself and who I am is never a bad idea.
She also is a great card to give me the confidence to go into the Dark sometimes and see what lurks within, and what the Tarot can help me through also.
The Princess of Pentacles echos this practical nature. Read the cards, touch them, look at them, feel them, let them be part of my physical reality rather than just concepts in my head.
And conversely this Princess is also being very practical and saying - be kind to yourself.
So what if you miss a day? So what if you aren't meditating on the cards? So what if you are not Crowley Incarnate trying to re-invent the Tarot Wheel? Why pressurise myself to be something for my ego rather than something for my Spirit? Why not just accept the times you fall off the wagon and let the lessons learnt from that inspire you to get back on the wagon.
Also this Princess speaks of something even more practical - to make tarot part of my every day practice, I need to have them with me every day - which includes having a big enough hand bag to actually include a tarot deck in so I have a deck with me at all times and so in that I can find 5 mins to just pick up the deck and look at the images.
So overall - Commiting to Every Day Tarot Time is only a good thing, with lots of benefits! And it takes the smallest practical steps to do it, a brave heart and a deck in your hand. Simples!
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